Without meaning to sound pompous, I’ve travelled more than most in the last six years, and I can say with confidence that I’ve seen and done things that other people probably haven’t. Some of these are things that other people are probably better off not seeing or doing, but that’s not germane to the issue. What I’m getting at is that I’ve been privileged enough to have been given the opportunity to see this country, and the world, in a manner that few others have access to. I’ve been to a heritage village in Himachal Pradesh and had a black Labrador as a tour guide. I’ve stayed the night at a pre-historic archaeological site in Gujarat. I’ve been accused of being a terrorist, smacked about and thrown into a police lock-up in Assam. I’ve spent days in the lap of luxury at exclusive hotels. I’ve been to a sewerage museum in Paris (and the Louvre too, in case you think I’m a total psycho), the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam and the Indian Museum in Calcutta. I’ve eaten what seemed like a whole roast pig in Stuttgart, raw beef in Seoul, the best jalebis in the world in Madhya Pradesh, sachertorte in Vienna and the best chips on earth in Belgium. I’ve been to clubs in Tokyo where… actually, never mind. I’ve gaped in awe at the Chrysler Building, the Taj Mahal, the Hagia Sophia and the Kumbhalgarh fort. I’ve – well, you get the idea.

Given this preamble, you’ll be considerably shocked (and perhaps outraged) to learn that I’ve hardly explored Bombay, the city that’s been my home for seven years. Would you believe that I’ve sunned myself on virgin sands in Thailand, but I’ve never set foot on Chowpatty Beach or Juhu Beach? I’ve clambered up into the ancient caves of Bhimbetka, but I haven’t gotten on a ferry to go to the Elephanta caves. I’ve spent a whole day in the splendid Mysore Zoo, but I don’t even know where the zoo in Bombay is! I’ve been to some of the world’s greatest temples, churches, mosques and other shrines, but the charms of the Haji Ali dargah, the Afghan Church, the Banganga tank and the Siddhivinayak temple continue to remain in the realm of the unexplored. I’ve spotted exotic birds in Bharatpur, leopards in Mudumalai, rhinos in Kaziranga and elephants in Wayanad, but have I been to the Borivali National Park, barely 30 km from my home? No. I absolutely love museums of all kinds, shapes and sizes, but the Prince of Wales Museum still remains on my ‘To do’ list. I’m a foodie to rank with the best of them, and as mentioned earlier, I’ve eaten at restaurants, dives, roadside stalls, bars, clubs and homes all over the place, but some of this city’s most well-know eateries have never had my butt in their seats. Swati Snacks, Mahesh Lunch Home, Anant Ashram, Jimmy Boy, Britannia, New Martin, Busaba, Henry Tham, Indigo Deli – these are but a few on a long and lamentable list. I try and make it a point to watch a film (any film) in every new place that I visit, be it a village theatre or a swank multiplex, and I’ve managed to achieve this to a large degree – yet I haven’t been to some of this city’s iconic movie theatres. I could go on, but I shan’t, because I’ll only end up sounding like even more of an idiot. I don’t know how this sorry state of affairs came to be; perhaps it’s a human trait to take one’s place of living for granted. I have a friend in Amsterdam who hasn’t been to some of that city’s famous museums, for example. Whatever it is, it’s something that needs prompt redressal. Any suggestions?